As I sat down in The Principal’s office…
(Sidebar: I refer to her as “The Principal,” capitalized, because that’s how everyone refers to her. It’s like how you would refer to God. Or Madonna.)
…I tried to summon up the courage to tell her everything I had told Selena a couple of days before. It is true that her silly new hairstyle helped matters. So after a few moments of pausing and stalling, I finally opened up and told her everything.
Well, almost everything. (She’s really scary.)
After I finished I took a breath and waited for her response.
“So, Dineo” she began, “you want the school to re-decorate?”
Sigh.
I guess that is a logical summary of my ten-minute rant of my 4-month experience at the school. Sure. Whatever. I want to redecorate. I came all the way to freakin’
As I tried to re-explain the issues I felt were plaguing the school, I tried to emphasize that the suggestions I had for the school wouldn’t come overnight and they wouldn’t/couldn’t be done by only me. I could be an outside perspective and maybe bring some knowledge to the table, but the real work would be in the hands of management.
We talked for what seemed like forever and as time went by, I became less nervous (aka scared shitless of her) and she finally began treating me like an equal not as a child. We came up with a plan for the next couple of weeks before I would go to visit the
And then, right before I thought we were done and everything was out in the open, she said two things:
1. “Dineo, I don’t know why you felt you couldn’t tell me this before now.” (In which my response was an innocent shrug when I was really thinking: Heeellllloooo, you’re SCARY!)
And…
2. “It’s all the educators’ fault.”
With the second one, I knew I really had my work cut out for me. The staff was going to blame the principal for the lack of progress and the principal was going to blame the staff.
Ay, my brain hurts.
So I knew what I was going to have to do. I was going to have to go back to middle school.
I listened to the principal complain about the educators. I listened to the educators complain about the principal. To everyone, I was a giant walking ear and cheerleader. I didn’t entice any fights but I encouraged everyone to do the job that they’ve been hired to do. I wasn’t taking sides in the great duel. I realized that as corny and Miss
During all this, I tried to find a way to cope through the things that weren’t really site related. Sure, this assignment wouldn’t have been in my top 20 of placements. I have genuine issues with a lot of things relating to my Peace Corps experience beginning way before I ever stepped foot on South African soil and I needed to work that out separately from the school. I could try to make the best of a shitty situation and just do it.
So I took a couple of weeks off. From everything…now I’m back.
I’m not necessarily happier. The issues didn’t magically disappear nor did I get an “Aha” moment and realize that I’m just a whiny little girl that likes to be unhappy and cynical.
(Although…being unhappy and cynical does make for a more pleasurable writing experience. I’m just not the rainbows and smiles kind of writer…sorry.)
But I found a way to cope and make myself ok with my situation. I made a plan for the future that makes these days easier to deal with and took my emotions out of the things that my emotions didn’t need to be involved in, which was a lot of things I realize now.
Since that emotional Monday way back in August, I can say that things have started to change, slowly. I’ve learned through my travels that there are some cultures that are more resistant to change than others and South Africans are probably more resistant than most. But, I’m working with what I’ve got and I am starting to see little changes.
Just a dent, but it’s working…for now.
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